Fundamental Strategies On How To Improve Self Esteem

By Wayne M. Chase


Not many people are aware of how much impact low self esteem can have on a person's life. Having low self worth can greatly decrease the quality of your life in general--it can stop you from building healthy and happy relationships; it can rob you of a stable and fulfilling career and can put you at risk of developing behavioral and mental illnesses. I personally have experienced some of these consequences; in fact, they were what made me decide to look for a way to improve my self esteem.

Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation.Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice...Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring.Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Don't reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude.

Get rid of those negative self-beliefs. The negative self-limiting beliefs that are constantly repeating in your head greatly contributes to your feelings of inadequacy or incapacity. Getting rid of these thoughts is one of the fundamental tasks for anyone who wants to raise his self esteem. You could start by paying more attention to everything that it says--be more attentive of all the negative self-talk that is taking place inside your head. Then you can work on making a list of all the unfavourable thoughts that you hear within. After you have identified your destructive self-limiting beliefs, challenge and refute them. Take each negative thought on your list and counter it with a positive statement together with supporting proof. To provide you with an example, let's use the negative thought, "I cannot do anything well." You can counter this thought by writing down: "Sure, I can do some things well" and then list down things that you have successfully done in the past.

Unfortunately a small article can't do justice on the wide spectrum of creating a positive aura and developing a charismatic personality. You will get the complete picture and step by step explanations in Race Kale's new book "The Power of Charisma".Men's sense of self is more often tied to abilities, they are more into what they can do. Whereas a woman can get a quick boost from a personal compliment, for a man, a compliment about a skill or talent is likely to lead to that same boost quicker. Please don't mistake this to mean that men are not in tune with their inner selves, because many of them are. Many men have gone through the process of exploring the depth of their souls and come to appreciate who they are greatly. For those men, being able to see, appreciate and acknowledge that inner peace and confidence in him can go a long way. Of-course that would in most cases require knowing this person on deeper level and taking time to see those innermost qualities.

There are a few on the surface things that can help. Making a man feel needed is on that is often a sure fire way to get there. Unfortunately, today's independent women have been chipping away at this little tool. You pay your own bills, can change your own tires or call Triple A, and you will hire someone to mow the lawn on the house that you bought. Every now and again, though it would not be so bad to let him help with some of the manly stuff, like the car or something with the house. You know you could take care of it, but it's nice to have him do it for you and he relieves you of the pressure or responsibility of having to handle it. One less thing to worry about.This brings me to my next point. When a man does something for you, whether it is because you could not do it or because you allowed him to help, be appreciative. People want to help, but no one wants to feel unappreciated. No matter how little or how big the deed, it's important that he knows that his efforts are appreciated. Otherwise he has no incentive to want to help again, and you will both be denying him the opportunity to step up and do more of these things that should make him feel great.

To achieve an improved self-esteem is extremely important if you want to feel good about yourself and feel comfortable in social situations in which you are surrounded by different people. In addition, low self-esteem is capable of producing social anxiety, which gives you lots of problems to live a quiet and happy social life.The following 12 steps to improve self-esteem.Stop comparing with others. There will always be people who will have more things than you, and will always be people who have less than you. If you fall into that game of comparing yourself with people then you will always find "opponents" whom you will not be able to overcome.The important thing is to celebrate your individuality. Love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You are a person with much to offer. You should never feel neither superior nor inferior to others.Stop self-criticism. It's time to stop being hard on yourself. You will not be able to increase your self esteem if your internal dialogue is always hesitant about yourself and your abilities. Whether because of your appearance, your job, your relationships, your financial situation or any other aspect of your life, stop the negative inner dialogue that causing much damage and in most cases not is true.

Stop Trying so Hard. Improving confidence should not be about struggling. Give up trying to be a perfectionist, and give yourself permission to be a human being who will naturally make mistakes sometimes. A sure-fire way to feel inferior is to set the bar too high in every area of your life. Cut yourself some slack -- you deserve it.Focus Your Attention Outward. Lack of confidence often causes people to focus an inordinate amount of attention inward, on the "self." Make it a point to focus more attention on others than you do on yourself. Remember, confident people focus outward -- insecure people focus inward.

Avoid Energy Vampires. All of us know someone who seems to "suck the energy" out of a room just by entering. Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don't hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.Take a Chance. Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Shake up your life a little bit. The change will do you good, and your self-confidence will improve.

Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you an honest person? Do you like to share? You like to help and cooperate? Are you creative? Athletic? Be generous with yourself and write at least 20 positive characteristics about yourself. It is also important that the brush up frequently.Many people give in to their shortcomings and wonder constantly because their lives are not working the way they expected. Start focusing on your skills, live sure of yourself and then you have a better chance of getting things in life that you both want and deserve.

Affirmations: Ask Yourself the Right Questions. Some people repeat affirmations such as "I am self confident," which is fine, but you can improve your affirmation results by using leading questions such as, "why am I so confident?" The subconscious mind operates in a very simple manner. When you ask it a question like this, it will immediately go to work looking for the answer, and it will report back to you all of the ways you already are confident."Model" Other Confident People. One way to improve self-confidence is to model the behavior of people whom you consider to be supremely confident. If you can befriend a very confident person, that's great. But if not, just find an actor or other celebrity who is confidence personified, and study their behavior. Do this several times a week, and some of their confident mannerisms are bound to rub off on you.Practice Gratitude. A grateful mind is a peaceful mind, and a peaceful mind radiates confidence. Practice making a daily gratitude list, and particularly focus on different aspects of yourself that you appreciate. Maybe you are a great swimmer, or good at math, or really strong, or a good dancer, or have an unusual sense of humor, or are good at design, or a great singer, or a really good friend, or any number of other positive attributes. Look for what is great about you, and then be grateful you have those qualities. Appreciating your good qualities will improve self-confidence, and help you develop the kind of positive self-image that is crucial to success in life.




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