How to Become an Efficient Listener

By Hal Neff


Effective interaction is among the secrets to success, and when you are good at it, people notice.

Most people think that strengthening conversation skills involves building convincing speech and conversational abilities, but what you might not realize is just how important efficient listening can be.

Without an effective listener, none of your conversational abilities would matter. This is because your points - no matter how clear - still wouldn't be noticed or fully understood.

Remember that listening is a full fifty percent of the conversation effort so it's well worth your time to develop this valuable skill, too.

Here are several methods you may use to develop your listening skills:

1 . Beat the urge to speak. Sometimes when you are in a heated conversation, you begin to pay attention to what you're going to say next. You may even become tempted to open your mouth before the other individual is finished. Try to make the extra effort to keep your lips sealed until they are through talking.

* While they are speaking, don't worry about what you are going to say or how you are going to say it. Instead, concentrate on the words and body language of the other person.

2 . Look interested. Your nonverbal interaction abilities are essential while you're listening. If you are looking disinterested and uncaring, the individual trying to speak with you will likely pick up on these subtle hints. They may be flustered or less likely to share their thoughts. Makes sense, right?

* Engage with the person talking. Create eye contact and nod your head or smile. Allow your conversation partner know that their points are coming across to you.

3. Repeat the highlights. One method to basically tell your discussion partner that they're efficiently communicating is to simply restate their points. You can repeat key phrases in an affirming tone. You can even provide them a quick summary of what they just said in your own words and phrases.

* Avoid sharing your opinions when repeating their concepts or ideas. At this point, you simply want to convey that you've fully understood their meaning.

4. Ask questions. Do not be scared to ask your conversation partner to elaborate on what they are saying. If you need more information, then ask for it. The important thing is that you understand what they're trying to get across.

5. Be patient. It's also important to maintain patience, particularly when working with people who might be shy or may not have the ability to communicate well. If you are not patient, you may end the discussion prematurely or scare off your conversation partner.

6. Follow your partner's lead. Being an effective listener doesn't mean that your only job is to listen. You can definitely add to the conversation, too. At the same time, you do not want to overpower the conversation. Add your input when they ask for it or when they've finished their point.

Remember that practice makes perfect. After you have had an important conversation, ask yourself what you remember from the discussion. Write down the details if possible. Did you enable the other person to do most of the talking?

When you fight the urge to dominate conversations, you'll be able to truly hear what people have to say!




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