People who are codependent are often unaware of how dysfunctional their relationships are. Codependency can be difficult to treat as people have deeply ingrained behavioral traits. They need to find their identity and self-worth from others as they lack this in themselves. In pleasing others and constantly looking for acceptance, they often sacrifice their own mental, emotional and physical health. This can cause a great deal of damage in families.
In a healthy relationship, boundaries are important. Codependents usually have a problem with boundaries. Their boundaries may be blurred and they will often go to great lengths to fix others and feel an unnatural responsibility for their problems and feelings. They go out of their way to please but will also control and manipulate others to get what they need. They may also have rigid boundaries that do not allow others to see what they are feeling or allow them to feel close.
True communication is usually absent in such a situation. The codependent person cannot afford to be honest for fear of rejection or abandonment. They need others to help them feel secure and so they will often give their partners support without thinking about their own feelings. They find their self-worth in taking care of others and pleasing them.
They are afraid of being abandoned or rejected and will stay in a relationship, even if it is abusive. They actually choose a bad relationship over being alone. Low self-esteem, shame, fear of being judged or rejected and feeling trapped are common in such a relationship. Anger and resentment, depression, despair and a sense of hopelessness are other common feelings.
A partner of a codependent person will often do little to discourage the dependency. They cater to the behavior as they feel that they are helping the person. However, they are actually just preventing any change from taking place. It is possible to break these patterns of behavior but it is often difficult for a couple to do this without help.
In such a situation, there is often a lot of denial. Codependents know they are unhappy but they often fail to recognize that this is partly their own fault. They are likely to blame the problems on the other person and the situation. They often feel shame and guilt and find it very difficult to acknowledge they have a problem, let alone reach out for help.
Identifying the codependent nature of the relationship is often the first step. There are many websites today that list the symptoms, making it easier for people to identify that they have this problem. Even when the problem has been identified, it can take long, hard work to address it. There are many professionals who have experience in helping and it may require guidance and support in establishing new patterns of behavior.
In order to save such a relationship, it is necessary to establish boundaries and work on the self worth of both individuals. Professionals with experience in this area are available to offer guidance and support. This is often far better than trying to go it alone as these changes can be hard to make. However, there is hope of recovery and getting help can result in developing a more healthy relationship.
In a healthy relationship, boundaries are important. Codependents usually have a problem with boundaries. Their boundaries may be blurred and they will often go to great lengths to fix others and feel an unnatural responsibility for their problems and feelings. They go out of their way to please but will also control and manipulate others to get what they need. They may also have rigid boundaries that do not allow others to see what they are feeling or allow them to feel close.
True communication is usually absent in such a situation. The codependent person cannot afford to be honest for fear of rejection or abandonment. They need others to help them feel secure and so they will often give their partners support without thinking about their own feelings. They find their self-worth in taking care of others and pleasing them.
They are afraid of being abandoned or rejected and will stay in a relationship, even if it is abusive. They actually choose a bad relationship over being alone. Low self-esteem, shame, fear of being judged or rejected and feeling trapped are common in such a relationship. Anger and resentment, depression, despair and a sense of hopelessness are other common feelings.
A partner of a codependent person will often do little to discourage the dependency. They cater to the behavior as they feel that they are helping the person. However, they are actually just preventing any change from taking place. It is possible to break these patterns of behavior but it is often difficult for a couple to do this without help.
In such a situation, there is often a lot of denial. Codependents know they are unhappy but they often fail to recognize that this is partly their own fault. They are likely to blame the problems on the other person and the situation. They often feel shame and guilt and find it very difficult to acknowledge they have a problem, let alone reach out for help.
Identifying the codependent nature of the relationship is often the first step. There are many websites today that list the symptoms, making it easier for people to identify that they have this problem. Even when the problem has been identified, it can take long, hard work to address it. There are many professionals who have experience in helping and it may require guidance and support in establishing new patterns of behavior.
In order to save such a relationship, it is necessary to establish boundaries and work on the self worth of both individuals. Professionals with experience in this area are available to offer guidance and support. This is often far better than trying to go it alone as these changes can be hard to make. However, there is hope of recovery and getting help can result in developing a more healthy relationship.
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