We each have these imperative moments that we reach in our lives. Sometimes, for some, it occurs sooner than later. For others...it takes years on years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to a single point where we all truly know, inside the midst of our hearts, that things must change. This wish for change is like nothing you've experienced before. There is a different sort of energy to it. There is a different feeling to it altogether.
You have to do the most scary thing there's - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 and it wasn't by choice. I remember standing in that loft, hearing words that I would never forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything and anything I could. In the end, I'll never forget that sense of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was the complete mounting up of dry leaves and hay from years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning of everything, 7 days later, it reached its low point. Positively rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I awakened the next day looking at a crumbled landscape...with the awareness that I could take the time to reconstruct my whole world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
More importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would need to learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be fully responsible for my entire life, and to ultimately let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy remained covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding avoided my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did just that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My strong back and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I could create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are scared to go, that's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark seeping kind of agony that will scare you to death. It scares you because you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The reality is, this is where your strength is. There's incalculable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there's strength in great faith and light, there's equal amounts of strength in going to that scary place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that is beyond confidence. It's the type of feeling that you know that everything around you could be demolished, and you most definitely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
True power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and irrespective of how you challenge me...I will continue to shine. "
Face your nightmare. Face your fears. You don't have to be afraid to let everything go for the chance to build it back better. Need love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that has been obstructing you. You're going to have to dive deep down into the abyss of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering blade. No armour. No weapon. No type of effort to rise up above it.
You should go in naked and vulnerable.
You can come out. You can cry, suffer, and hurt...but you will surely come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to start living the grandest journey you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life begins.
You have to do the most scary thing there's - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 and it wasn't by choice. I remember standing in that loft, hearing words that I would never forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything and anything I could. In the end, I'll never forget that sense of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was the complete mounting up of dry leaves and hay from years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning of everything, 7 days later, it reached its low point. Positively rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I awakened the next day looking at a crumbled landscape...with the awareness that I could take the time to reconstruct my whole world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
More importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would need to learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be fully responsible for my entire life, and to ultimately let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy remained covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding avoided my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did just that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My strong back and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I could create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are scared to go, that's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark seeping kind of agony that will scare you to death. It scares you because you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The reality is, this is where your strength is. There's incalculable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there's strength in great faith and light, there's equal amounts of strength in going to that scary place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that is beyond confidence. It's the type of feeling that you know that everything around you could be demolished, and you most definitely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
True power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and irrespective of how you challenge me...I will continue to shine. "
Face your nightmare. Face your fears. You don't have to be afraid to let everything go for the chance to build it back better. Need love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that has been obstructing you. You're going to have to dive deep down into the abyss of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering blade. No armour. No weapon. No type of effort to rise up above it.
You should go in naked and vulnerable.
You can come out. You can cry, suffer, and hurt...but you will surely come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to start living the grandest journey you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life begins.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
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