Tips For Couples Conflict Solution

By Virginia Turner


Conflict is common to all relationships. Most married people have had their share of disagreements due to their different personalities, backgrounds and expectations. You may find yourselves arguing, disagreeing or bickering on a regular basis over particular issues. Some conflicts can ruin your relationship. It is therefore important to know how to resolve them. If you develop the skill of couples conflict solution, you can protect and preserve your relationship.

Sometimes, conflicts begin with the possibility of making a major change. Your partner may give you a hostile response after you have stated your case. He or she can yell, talk over you or tune out completely. At the beginning stages of conflict resolution, the process that you use is more essential than what you say. In order to disagree in a healthy manner, both of you need to develop good listening skills.

People in a relationship should let their partners share their concerns, worries or frustrations. They should provide them with the chance to share their feelings in a safe way without fearing that they will be ridiculed with cutting statements. This way, their partners will be open and willing to hear what they have to say.

In order to resolve conflicts, you should also speak about the way you feel without shifting blame to your partner. The statements that directly assault the character of your partner can be particularly damaging to your relationship. For instance, if you are frustrated with the jealousy of your partner, do not say that he or she is completely irrational. Instead, you can tell him or her that you get irritated when he or she claims that you are flirting with someone during innocent conversions. This tactic is direct, but it does not impugn on the character of your lover.

As they address a problem, married people should not make generalizations about their partner, such as saying that he or she always or never does something. These words can make a person defensive. He or she may come up with several examples showing why the statements of his or her partner are false. To resolve an issue, married people should try to create a discussion about how their spouse can become more helpful or attentive.

You can have a constructive discussion if you stick to one issue at a time. When people are unhappy, it is usual for them to drag a number of topics into the same discussion. This is not the right way to solve an issue. If you raise several complaints at the same time, you may not get any one of them solved fully.

When your partner criticizes you, do not automatically object to his or her complaints. Being defensive will not solve your problems. Therefore, take time to hear what your partner has to say and really consider it.

You can also deal with conflict in your relationship by consulting with a couples counselor. You can discuss about your conflicts with the counselor. Couples counseling can help you to express your desires and emotions in a respectful and safe environment. It can also heal the hurt brought about by emotional neglect, bereavement and infidelity. The counselor will work with you to build a more intimate and meaningful relationship.




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