The Various True Lover Tests

By Sharon Weeks


Everyone has been in a situation where one gets an unexplainable feeling. This is a feeling of excitement or euphoria. This is especially so if you meet and have a chat with that special person that you always think of. Once in a while you may think that she is falling for you but you must keep on questioning this feeling. The true lover tests will help you discern and differentiate between real love and an infatuated feeling.

A number of times those in strong relationships find that their love is decreasing. This is so since most affairs are built on infatuation rather than on the basis of true love. The feeling of true love is always mutual. This makes the wishes and expectations of lovers bear no fruit in many occasions. This becomes the reason why every day a divorce case is being filed in our courts of law.

To get to know which feeling is haunting you, the long term implications and expectations of that affair should ring in your mind. Theories have it that a successful love should be composed of intimacy, commitment and passion. Failure to strike a balance among the three is the reason why marriages end up being strained. The intimate couple that is not committed to the marriage cannot last for a longer period of time.

The test of time. True love grows with time while infatuation diminishes as time goes by. Get to know how hurriedly you start labeling certain feelings as love, realize if you have other words you use to describe such feelings. Supposing you find yourself falling in love every now and then and very early, and later you get disappointed, then keeping this test in mind will save your from a future heartache.

The security test. Love that is genuine needs and nurtures a sense of trust and security. A person who is infatuated seems to lack the sense of security, is based upon wishful thinking instead of careful consideration. When one is infatuated, he/she becomes blind to problems. Security is able to flow out of deep knowledge on the character, track record and values of the other person.

Test of distance. Genuine love knows how important distance is. On the other hand, infatuation only imagines that love is meant to be intense closeness all the time. If circumstances put it that you have to be temporarily separated from your other half, that will definitely teach you more on the quality of your relationship. Supposing you fail to feel a sense of separateness, distinct life, healthy balance and relationship with other persons, then you are more infatuated than in love.

Genuine love creates an atmosphere to learn about the other person. All the characteristics and behavior are learnt as the relationship grows. This should be differentiated from infatuation in that it seeks to be all knowing. Infatuation makes one feel that he knows everything about her. This turns out not the case because it requires time and patience to understand the hues and cues of a partner. This gets possible through the conducive environment created by love.

Clear understanding of own personality is the first step towards attainment of true love. An individual should clearly know his areas of interest and what he does not like. A point to remember that the person you love will be your lifetime partner. One should therefore be certain of what he or she is doing.




About the Author:



Aucun commentaire:

Enregistrer un commentaire