If you are in a relationship, there are always brighter and dark sides of it. It is needless to say that there will be arguments and one has to manage those arguments skillfully so that it does not create any damage to your relationships. People often consider arguments to be counter productive and to create negative environments. However arguments are pretty normal in any kind of relationship. If it is done in the right way it opens up solutions to problems and build new strength of the relationship.
In this context we would light to highlight the fact that argument can be a double edged sword and one should know how to argue and in which context argument is healthy.
* Some people take fighting very seriously and may be so concerned about winning that they lose sight of what they actually disagree about!
In such situation the partners can lose sight of what is actually important and start creating a negative atmosphere where they actually tear apart.
* Some couples see that these people end up quarrelling on the same concerns over and also all over again simply because they include failed to go to virtually any decision during past 'rounds'.
Seven Sensible Rules for Fighting Fair:
When they fail to find any solution they think by doing it again and again may result in a solution but that is not true.
So lets see what are the safe limits of an argument and how adhering to some simple rules you can keep the argument healthy and the relationship intact.
2. Stick to the topic!
1. Try to understand the problem
Keep the information of this justifications related. Never let your talk drift in to diverse regions of disagreement or maybe outdated 'bug-bears' - resolving one particular discord is usually tricky ample - the reason why tackle all the more!
Don't launch a character assassination at your poor spouse - discuss the issue don't pull them apart and attack them. Avoid getting personal or being too general eg. telling them what they 'always' do or 'never' do. None of these approaches are in any way constructive.
Do not beat around the bush. be precise and fact based when you are going to argue.
3. Don't get personal!
5. Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Lose
4. Mutual Respect
In a ideal earth it could be good to convey that all argument may result in a win/win predicament however that's not often the case inside real life, thus;
* If you lose, don't sulk.
The above situations could arise from an argument and be ready to face them whatever they may be and face it with open arms. If you both win, feel proud of yourselves for a successful conflict resolution
6. Time out!
6. Time out!
7. Listen
7. Listen
This is a hard one! Don't assume you are right! It is important to listen to your spouse's perspective and to try to see the problem their eyes. Be willing to compromise - coming half way is something all couples need to learn.
If you want to pick up more hints and tips on arguing check out our free communications video course as well as some useful, hand-picked resources specifically on fighting fair.
In this context we would light to highlight the fact that argument can be a double edged sword and one should know how to argue and in which context argument is healthy.
* Some people take fighting very seriously and may be so concerned about winning that they lose sight of what they actually disagree about!
In such situation the partners can lose sight of what is actually important and start creating a negative atmosphere where they actually tear apart.
* Some couples see that these people end up quarrelling on the same concerns over and also all over again simply because they include failed to go to virtually any decision during past 'rounds'.
Seven Sensible Rules for Fighting Fair:
When they fail to find any solution they think by doing it again and again may result in a solution but that is not true.
So lets see what are the safe limits of an argument and how adhering to some simple rules you can keep the argument healthy and the relationship intact.
2. Stick to the topic!
1. Try to understand the problem
Keep the information of this justifications related. Never let your talk drift in to diverse regions of disagreement or maybe outdated 'bug-bears' - resolving one particular discord is usually tricky ample - the reason why tackle all the more!
Don't launch a character assassination at your poor spouse - discuss the issue don't pull them apart and attack them. Avoid getting personal or being too general eg. telling them what they 'always' do or 'never' do. None of these approaches are in any way constructive.
Do not beat around the bush. be precise and fact based when you are going to argue.
3. Don't get personal!
5. Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Lose
4. Mutual Respect
In a ideal earth it could be good to convey that all argument may result in a win/win predicament however that's not often the case inside real life, thus;
* If you lose, don't sulk.
The above situations could arise from an argument and be ready to face them whatever they may be and face it with open arms. If you both win, feel proud of yourselves for a successful conflict resolution
6. Time out!
6. Time out!
7. Listen
7. Listen
This is a hard one! Don't assume you are right! It is important to listen to your spouse's perspective and to try to see the problem their eyes. Be willing to compromise - coming half way is something all couples need to learn.
If you want to pick up more hints and tips on arguing check out our free communications video course as well as some useful, hand-picked resources specifically on fighting fair.
About the Author:
Want to find out more about marriage related argument, then visit Barbara Firer 's site on how to choose the best argumentative communication in marriage for your needs.
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